tell your sister to shave her snatch
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
