dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
