Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
