hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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