Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
