i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
So. Much. Porn.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
