We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
