i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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