That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
