I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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