big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
