You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
