I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
