No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
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