No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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