so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
