captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
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