eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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