I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
