Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
