Betty ford says i'm here all night
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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