so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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