I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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