I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
