Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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