i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
