Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
