I heard we made out
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
false alarm, still single
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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