i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
