1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize