Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
