it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
