yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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