I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
