I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
