Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
