Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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