sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?