We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.