Texts From Last Night

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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.

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  (615): I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance. http://tfl.nu/av3i
  Replies (13) Good night (2931) Bad night (1084)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.

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  (651): A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life. http://tfl.nu/zayp
  Replies (16) Good night (4275) Bad night (663)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics

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  (724): Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics http://tfl.nu/hk15
  Replies (69) Good night (4347) Bad night (1552)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?

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  (850): my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom? http://tfl.nu/5x0x
  Replies (49) Good night (6314) Bad night (1736)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks

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  (440): Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks http://tfl.nu/2p99
  Replies (17) Good night (4652) Bad night (1729)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned

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  (847): He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned http://tfl.nu/f6cf
  Replies (14) Good night (2806) Bad night (1511)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.

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  (270): I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk. http://tfl.nu/wgbm
  Replies (9) Good night (1725) Bad night (590)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex. 

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  (662): it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.  http://tfl.nu/s4m2
  Replies (8) Good night (1111) Bad night (917)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH

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  (973): he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH http://tfl.nu/asic
  Replies (8) Good night (1133) Bad night (632)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.

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  (570): I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women. (570): You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force. http://tfl.nu/ij9q
  Replies (6) Good night (1128) Bad night (467)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly

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  (724): These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly http://tfl.nu/feuo
  Replies (5) Good night (849) Bad night (493)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?

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  (425): Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism? http://tfl.nu/s1hj
  Replies (7) Good night (611) Bad night (462)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.

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  (708): we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now. http://tfl.nu/89m6
  Replies (5) Good night (2726) Bad night (472)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  What are your plans?

  (1-608): View more from Wisconsin

  Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.

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  (608): What are your plans? (1-608): Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters. http://tfl.nu/04dy
  Replies (1) Good night (784) Bad night (275)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.

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  (601): If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass. http://tfl.nu/tjid
  Replies (6) Good night (482) Bad night (399)

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