WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it