Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him

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  (617): OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him http://tfl.nu/b4mt
  Replies (11) Good night (980) Bad night (1024)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.

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  (352): You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem. http://tfl.nu/rwe9
  Replies (12) Good night (5168) Bad night (739)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.

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  (480): the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy. http://tfl.nu/p73q
  Replies (17) Good night (5677) Bad night (776)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.

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  (780): Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man. http://tfl.nu/3qrw
  Replies (8) Good night (5195) Bad night (2040)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs

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  (307): i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs http://tfl.nu/99qm
  Replies (9) Good night (3445) Bad night (969)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm

  (1-757): View more from Virginia

  Dick in a box?

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  (757): Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm (1-757): Dick in a box? http://tfl.nu/x7sn
  Replies (13) Good night (4672) Bad night (884)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  Tornado booty call.. dedication

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  (469): Tornado booty call.. dedication http://tfl.nu/xoaj
  Replies (6) Good night (1107) Bad night (726)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?

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  (678): Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend? http://tfl.nu/mjnu
  Replies (15) Good night (2139) Bad night (1065)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.

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  (910): Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee. http://tfl.nu/pw4k
  Replies (12) Good night (2076) Bad night (780)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo

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  (860): I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo http://tfl.nu/rks3
  Replies (17) Good night (737) Bad night (1099)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.

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  (907): It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls. http://tfl.nu/6ztr
  Replies (2) Good night (465) Bad night (1038)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans

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  (519): Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans http://tfl.nu/rcga
  Replies (7) Good night (423) Bad night (936)
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  (710): View more from

  my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking

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  (710): my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking http://tfl.nu/zpwa
  Replies (4) Good night (763) Bad night (310)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?

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  (757): Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT? http://tfl.nu/4p7c
  Replies (4) Good night (406) Bad night (550)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.

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  (802): You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago. http://tfl.nu/55qx
  Replies (2) Good night (821) Bad night (283)

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