Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music

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(202): Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music http://tfl.nu/ve57

Replies (3) Good night (877) Bad night (906)
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(480): View more from Arizona

Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?

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(480): Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick? http://tfl.nu/0q5p

Replies (21) Good night (4360) Bad night (1049)
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(626): View more from California

he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??

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(626): he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that?? http://tfl.nu/9sps

Replies (26) Good night (1524) Bad night (5955)
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(513): View more from Ohio

literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.

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(513): literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night. http://tfl.nu/en91

Replies (4) Good night (996) Bad night (3086)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep

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(303): I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep http://tfl.nu/pnlq

Replies (21) Good night (1438) Bad night (4817)
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(216): View more from Ohio

she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"

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(216): she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm" http://tfl.nu/ofag

Replies (20) Good night (4694) Bad night (1148)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though

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(732): Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though http://tfl.nu/qwoj

Replies (4) Good night (905) Bad night (1552)
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(260): View more from Indiana

He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.

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(260): He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again. http://tfl.nu/91lg

Replies (17) Good night (1003) Bad night (2933)
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(845): View more from New York

I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar

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(845): I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar http://tfl.nu/fuzg

Replies (22) Good night (970) Bad night (1577)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge

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(336): The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge http://tfl.nu/ygw7

Replies (15) Good night (2924) Bad night (660)
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(360): View more from Washington

Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.

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(360): Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try. http://tfl.nu/j8hc

Replies (2) Good night (652) Bad night (962)
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(631): View more from New York

when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.

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(631): when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro. http://tfl.nu/xp1k

Replies (4) Good night (1509) Bad night (474)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.

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(+44): he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess. http://tfl.nu/epre

Replies (10) Good night (2092) Bad night (470)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.

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(701): She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down. http://tfl.nu/f22r

Replies (18) Good night (754) Bad night (1382)
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(936): View more from Texas

I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night

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(936): I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night http://tfl.nu/dhdy

Replies (4) Good night (414) Bad night (1148)

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