I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
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I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
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Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober