This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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