I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
