i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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