I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I just googled if crying burns calories
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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