why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize