even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
