I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
