I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You had me at "let me see your balls"
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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