He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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