what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Just pee around me
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
