Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
