is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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