This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
ttyl tear gas
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize