i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just pynch a tree in the face
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
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