and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
