I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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