so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
