And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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