we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Drake has all the answers
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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