do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
