Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
do nipples grow back?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
