if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
