She said her name was "party"
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Oh god it's open bar.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
