Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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