10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
