Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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