If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
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i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
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Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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