im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
