kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
